Happy Birthday Princess!

Happy 29th Birthday Court! You used to joke you you thought you would never make it to 30. I wish you hadn’t made that joke. I would always call you to wish you a Happy Birthday but then told you to wish me a “Happy Birth..Day” Today is a special day for me too, because it's the day I birthed my child.

I remember that after something like 36 hours of labor they did a c-section, and I never saw your actual birth. I knew it was early in the morning when they prepped me for the surgery and the next thing I knew I woke up in an empty hospital room. I looked over at the clock and it said 1:30. I called for the nurse and your dad and asked, “What did I have?” Your dad told me we had a beautiful baby girl. He was the first one to meet you and held you when you were born.

“Would you like to see her?” The nurse asked. “Of course I want to see her!” I exclaimed thinking why wouldn’t I? Was something wrong with the baby? They brought you in and I remember thinking, is that my baby? You looked so perfect and beautiful, I couldn’t believe you were mine! I couldn’t believe I had a daughter. I cried from joy and exhaustion! I did it, I was a mom! I always wanted to be a mom. I had lost my own mother when I was just 22 and was sad she wasn’t here to meet you, but I suspected that she knew she had a grandchild. I knew she was proud of both of us, her girls.

Being the youngest, I didn’t have experience with babies and it scared me when we brought you home to the Campbellville house. I was glad my sister, your Aunt Kathy,  came to help and remember the day she arrived. I had you bundled up and placed next to the fireplace. I thought you were cold, but you kept crying. She immediately came in and saw how red you were and said, you were hot, not cold. God was I naïve and inexperienced.  It’s a miracle you survived at all!


It took you awhile before you had any hair. I would dress you in such cute girl clothes and still people would ask, “How old is he?” You and I would laugh about that. It was one of the many things we laughed at. I was so lucky to have given birth to not only a daughter but to my best friend.

It's been just 7 months since your tragic passing and I still can’t believe you’re not here.You grew up to be such a beautiful young lady. You had a killer smile, an infectious laugh and was so incredibly smart. Anyone who met you, never forgot you, you touched people's souls from the start.

I hope they have birthday parties in heaven. I hope you are having a gluten-free, soy free cake or did your celiac disappear in heaven? If so, I hope you are having a double chocolate cake and there are lots of balloons. I hope your soul is at peace. I hope you can see what a difference you are making in so many people's lives here on earth! That your caring spirit lives on.

I miss you Court; I miss hearing you call me mom. Death does not lessen our love for each other, we will always have that special Mother -Daughter bond and we will always share our “Birth-Day”

Love you to the moon and back… forever!
Mommy

5 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Princess!”

  1. Such a sweet memory of Courtney! I remember it well, wishing I was there with you at the delivery and wishing Mom and Dad were there to meet her too! Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away! Helping my baby sister with her baby was one of my favorite memories
    We started her early with love, laughter, and how to have fun! Courtney, in spite of her disease, lived her short life with love,laughter,and fun! Happy Birthday to Courtney and to Birth-Day to you. Hugs to you both.

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